


Something more than just pawns in a chess game and blood stained names.

by mw4vt9



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 09:40:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17221517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mw4vt9/pseuds/mw4vt9
Summary: "The cure for anything is saltwater; sweat, tears, or the sea." - Karen Blixen





	Something more than just pawns in a chess game and blood stained names.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shatterpath](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shatterpath/gifts).



Lena hadn’t noticed it at first when she’d entered her office, hadn’t even been inclined to look in its direction as she went over budget reports, didn’t even cast her eyes towards it when she’d gone to the lab to get an update on the things they were working on. She’d noticed it when she was leaving, purse already slung over her shoulder. Her chess board, the one she’d played with Lex so many times, the one that had a permanent home on the coffee table in her office. A decoration to anyone else, a reminder to Lena that she had to stay firm and focused all the time. Usually its pieces sat in their places, two black rows on one side, two white rows on the other. Today, it was different.

A simple move, a classic game opener, a white pawn to E4. Lena’s smile faded as she saw it. Only a few, Jess and Sam, had access to this office. They both knew the significance of that board, both knew to steer clear of it. The cleaning service knew as well, don’t touch anything that isn’t imperative for cleaning, leave everything as you found it. Then, Lena had remembered a teasing smile, Alex throwing her head back as she said, “I guarantee you I can beat you at chess.”

“You keep thinking that darling,” had been Lena’s teasing response.

She’d been waiting for Alex to make a move, thrilled that maybe this was it. It would be easy for Alex to slide in here during one of Lena’s meetings, let in by Jess, to move the chess piece. Lena felt the shiver run down her spine at the thought, the chance that Alex was finally going to go for more than friends, the burning desire and stolen glances finally moving somewhere.

Lena didn’t think much of it as she moved the black pawn to E6, smiling contently at the board before she left.

__

Lena had been surprised the next morning that a new move had been made, wondering how in the hell Alex had been able to get in without Jess there. She shouldn’t be surprised though. Kara had befriended her security guard and entire security team. Alex getting in on the fold with nothing but charm, charisma, and daring confidence would have been easy enough.

White pawn to D4 had been the second move, Lena easily countering it with a black pawn to D5. Then, she’d gone to work, feeling lighter about her three hour conference call to a pharmaceutical company in India. Lena couldn’t help but glance up at the board, almost willing the pieces to move on their own.

__

White knight to C3 waited for her in the morning, Lena moving a black knight to F6. She had a thought to snap a picture, send it to Alex to tell the redhead to come over and finish the game in person. But Lena liked the tease of it, enjoyed the slow burn that a game that took this long would take. She longed for it though, longed to reach out, to be more than a casual hello and a hug goodbye to that soft smile.

__

White pawn to E5, something very familiar about the moves being made, something that Lena couldn’t place in the moment. Lena worked instead, wanting to think a little about her next move, and a way to progress this.

As she left the office that evening, a grin on her face at the thought of seeing Alex at game night in just a few hours, Lena easily chose to move her black knight back to D7.

__

Lena arrives only a few minutes late, hoping to discuss the game with Alex, a causal hint. There was a thrill there, an exhilaration from having the secret, playing a game with the DEO agent that no one else knew about.

“There she is,” Alex grins when Lena walks in, already moving to the kitchen to pour her a glass of wine. Alex hands it to her with a kiss to Lena’s cheek in greeting, a routine that they’ve been following for weeks now, a choreographed dance of wanting to be close but being unsure.

“What game are we playing?” Winn asks, interrupting the moment.

“Checkers,” Kara squeals.

“Chess?” Lena asks, intentionally looking at the games on the wall.

“I haven’t played that in forever,” Alex comments, meeting eyes with Lena. That same teasing smile is there, something unspoken traveling between them at the thrill of it.

“No chess,” Kara said, “you guys are the only ones who know how to play.”

“Fine,” Alex says as she looks at Lena, “but you still owe me a game.”

__

White pawn to F4. Black pawn to C5.

White knight to F3. Black knight to C6.

White knight to E2 along with a note, written in practiced script, different than the typical scratch of Alex’s handwriting. This took time, took a steady grip and a practiced hand. The words were simple, “Good morning Lena,” written in black ink. Black pawn to F6, a response written in Lena’s cursive, “goodnight to you.” She’d almost written Alex’s name, deciding instead to leave that slight air of mystery to the game.

White pawn to C3. Black pawn to E5, Lena taking the white pawn off the board.

White pawn to E5, Lena’s black pawn from her move the night before resting neatly next to the white pawn she’d removed, lined up with precision. Black knight to B6.

White knight to G3, a beautiful long-stemmed rose sitting next to it, stirring a memory inside of Lena that she can’t quite place. Bishop to D7 was her next move before she picked the rose up, bringing it to her nose to smell. There was a hint of cologne to the rose, something she’d smelled on Alex before, something that she couldn’t quite name.

__

Lena was looking forward to going into work every single morning, almost forgetting her purse one morning in her haste.

When she arrived that morning, no pieces had been moved, no notes or gifts, like the game had been paused. Before Lena could sit down, a worried looking Jess came into her office, a tablet in her hand, and a heavy look on her face.

Jess doesn’t speak, instead moves to turn on the television, and Lena watches in absolute horror at the words that come across the screen with the frantic words of the reporter. Lena hears fragments of it, “a bomb blast” and “twenty residents unaccounted for,” meet Lena’s ears. It feels like she’s hearing it through ear phones, the sound muffled by her pounding heart before the words finally come. “Notorious villain Alexander Luthor is among the unaccounted for in the bombing and break out at Arkham Asylum.”

Lena feels the panic rising, feels the bile and the sickness wash over her before strong hands wrap around her, a warm frame moving to hold her up. Lena falls into it, that familiar smell from the rose enveloping her senses as Alex holds her up. Lena gathers herself, finally pulling back to take Alex in. She’s wearing her DEO uniform, Supergirl right behind her, and the lack of a move on the chess board makes sense. They’ve been out all night. They’ve been looking for Lex. Lena makes eye contact with Kara, trying to steady a brave face, but Lena can see the fear as plain as day.

“You haven’t heard from him right?” Alex asks as she helps Lena sit down on the small sofa, the chess board glaring at her from its place, showing off a half-finished game.

“Nothing,” Lena answers honestly. “Do you think he is going to come for me?”

As Lena says that, she hears Winn’s voice. “Alex, it’s ok,” Winn says through the walkie talkie at Alex’s side, “they found his body.” Lena’s still then, silent as Alex moves away, speaking in hushed voices to him before she finally comes back to Lena.

“Is it true?” Lena asks, voice small like the little girl she was when she first met her brother.

“He’s dead,” Alex says, “died in the blast.”

Alex looks concerned, Lena’s eyes are blank as she wonders what she should feel. Sadness for the brother she loved, a longing for a life that could have been, a relief that he’ll never be a problem for her again.

“I’ve got to get down there,” Alex says to Lena, “will you call if you need anything?”

Lena just nods before a quick kiss is placed to her hairline, the full force of protective Alex making Lena’s head spin.

__

White bishop to D3, Lena sees when she hangs up the phone as she walks into the office the next morning. A conversation about claiming Lex’s body, a funeral. Lena deciding instead to cremate him because even after everything they’d been through there is still a familial need, a desire to share her brother’s ashes with the Mother that always loved him more. She wonders how Lillian must feel, wonders if Lillian even knows. Black queen to E7.

White pawn to F5, Black pawn to H6. A simple urn containing Lex’s ashes delivered to Lena’s office at lunch, no name plate, no honorific, nothing to show what it is, who it was, or what life he lived.

White rook from H1 to F1, white king moved from E1 to G1. A text message from Alex coming through as she checks the board, checking in, asking if she wants coffee. Lena can still feel Alex’s strong hands wrapping around her, strong arms holding her up as she’d seen the news just a few days ago. Black rook from A8 to D8, black king moved from E8 to C8, a simple enough tactic, a burn in Lena’s heart to see Alex.

She’d sent the text, a simple request for someone to have a glass of wine with, an immediate assurance from the redhead that she’d be there.

Alex had been there, only minutes after Lena had arrived, a bottle of red and a bottle of white ready to go, only glancing at Lena’s face before she opened the red.

Alex pours them both a glass, joining Lena on the couch.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Alex asks, voice quiet.

“What have you found out?” Lena asks, eyes focused on the urn sitting on her kitchen counter.

“It wasn’t a calculated escape,” Alex says, “an old electrical box that desperately needed maintenance blew up. Everyone is accounted for, either dead or found just blocks away.”

“At least there is that,” Lena answers. They drink in silence, Alex the grounding presence that keeps Lena from losing it. When the bottle is polished off, she wonders how to get Alex to stay.

“I can stay tonight, if you need,” Alex offers, reading the CEO’s mind.

“I would,” Lena answers, shaking off the way she wants to push Alex away.

When they’re in pajamas, Lena’s back pressed into Alex’s front, that same strong arm thrown over her stomach that had been so grounding when the news broke, Lena feels like she can relax, safe in Alex’s arms.

__

It should startle her to see the white bishop to F4 move when she gets into work the next morning, knowing that Alex had been in her bed all night, but Lena is too distracted to think about it too much. There is still the lingering of Alex’s lips at the corner of her mouth, a soft kiss and a firm hug before Alex had headed to the DEO that morning. A promise to be back later than evening, a message to bring her own pajamas this time. Lena was flying as she moved her queen to F7.

__

“How was your day?” Alex asks from her spot on Lena’s bed, fingers stroking through Lena’s long dark hair.

“Good,” Lena answers, not wanting to disturb the peace she feels at Alex’s warmth surrounding her.

Alex doesn’t respond, just continues to run her fingers through Lena’s hair. Lena wakes up the next morning, a note from Alex left on the bedside table that she had to get to work.

__

White knight to H4. Black pawn to F5, another white piece removed. That night a shared kiss, Lena tossing caution to the wind as she pulled Alex close. Calloused hands on her hips, Lena’s fingers tangling in red hair. A firm press of lips, a soft meeting of tongues, a teasing bite on her bottom lip. Another night with Alex holding her tight.

White knight to F5, removing a white pawn. Black pawn to C4. Alex’s tongue hot in Lena’s mouth, strong hands more insistent as they pushed her back on the bed, Alex’s phone going off to completely interrupt the movement. Supergirl and the DEO, Lena spending the first night in a few alone in bed.

White bishop to G3, another note in the same cursive. “Do you think it can be this good?” written in that same slow script. Black queen to E6.

“Turn on the TV,” Jess says frantically entering Lena’s office. Lena does, stepping closer to it.

The news anchor speaks in a quick voice, barely getting the words out and breathing at the same time. The images are clear. A video from the middle of the night, a crater opening up in the streets of National City, a man of literal steel coming out of it, a fight with Supergirl. Supergirl bleeding on the ground. Alex, her brave and noble Alex, getting flung across the dark streets. Finally, a retreat of the masked silver man, Supergirl quickly being taken to the DEO.

Lena doesn’t hear from Alex at all that night.

White bishop to C2. Black pawn to G5. Alex comes over that night, bruised and exhausted, barely arguing over Lena taking care of her. Supergirl is fine, yellow sunlamps saving the day. They have no idea who this new villain is, what it wants. This time Lena holds Alex, promising to take care of her.

White knight G6. Black bishop to C5. Winn discovering a tracer for the suit of steel, something ironic in the name of it considering a fight with the Super. A warehouse in the outskirts of National City, abandoned by the time they got there, nothing left behind but some shredded sheets of paper. Lena sees one scrap of it, an A clearly belonging to the beginning of another word, something so familiar about it, something Lena can’t place. Another night wrapped in Alex’s arm, another kiss to the corner of her mouth in the morning.

White bishop F2. Black knight E5, taking a white pawn off the board. Alex’s fingers tangled in Lena’s hair that night, firm grip on soft thighs, a night wrapped up together, an ache between Lena’s legs she’ll never forget, a burning desire for Alex that she's not sure she'll ever be able to put out.

White knight to H8, taking a black rook off the board. Black bishop to F2, taking a white bishop off the board. Alex doesn’t show up that night, doesn’t call even once.

White rook to F2, taking a black bishop off the board. Alex coming flying through the door into Lena’s office, eye’s blown wide.

“It’s Lillian,” Alex says, “she’s behind this.” Lena listens as Alex explains her absence from the night before, a signal on the suit of steel, a rushed mission that got an agent killed, no doubt that Lillian was behind it.

“The medusa virus case was there,” Alex says, “please come with me to the DEO.”

“She won’t come here,” Lena says, features locked in a stern glare.

Lena moves her rook to H8, taking white knight. She holds the white knight between her fingers, thinking of Alex who just wants to protect her. She sits the piece down, intent to go home and fall into the arms of her own white knight.

White queen to D4. Black rook to G8. A delivery of flowers later that day, roses again, with a note. Alex’s typical scratchy handwriting on the card. “Have a good day babe,” it says, and Lena wonders why Alex had written the notes left on the chess board so differently.

It hits Lena in the middle of the night, sitting up with a fright, bed empty from Alex being at the DEO. The moves, the game, it all comes back with perfect clarity. Nigel Short versus Ulf Andersson in the Bazna King’s Tournament in 2008, the exact match Lex had spoken to her about in their last conversation before he’d been taken from prison to the asylum.

Lena felt a cold sweat across her forehead, fear gripping her. Lex was dead. Alex had said it herself. But Lillian, Lillian was up to something lately. Lena grabs her phone, intent on calling Alex until she stops, needing to figure this out on her own.

White knight to H6, taking a black pawn. Black rook to E6.

White knight to F5. Black pawn to C6.

White queen to D2. No move left for Lena, a clear loss, playing out exactly like the match she'd woken up in the middle of the night to remember.

“I was surprised that was so easy,” a voice comes from the shadow at the back wall, a chill going through Lena’s entire body. “You’ve lost your touch.”

“You’re supposed to be dead,” Lena says, steadying the fear out of her voice at the sight of her brother. He steps out of the darkness, eyes locking on Lena’s.

It all makes sense suddenly. The game, the handwritten notes, the rose, Lillian, and now this.

Lena steps back, towards her desk, towards the button that she knows will alert Jess that something is wrong.

“Don’t make me kill the lowly assistant,” Lex says, coming closer, eyes on the button Lena had been heading to.

Something to her left catches Lena’s eye, a gleam from the window behind her reflecting off the glass of her office door.

Then, it all happens at once. Supergirl, swift and fast, crashes through the glass from Lena’s balcony, flying towards Lex. His back hits the wall hard, an indent in it from the power of the force. Then, Alex comes in next, DEO agents flooding the office, gun trained on where Supergirl is holding Lena’s beloved brother.

“Are you ok?” Alex asks, concern clear.

Lena is about to speak, about to reassure her when Lex tries to move, a device in his hand causing Supergirl to fall to her knees. Bullets, nothing but the sound of bullets takes over the office, smoke from the gun. Someone screams, someone pushes Lena hard until she’s down on the ground in front of her desk. Time feels like it stands still. There is a distinct ringing in her ears, the metallic smell of blood filling the air.

When it settles, it’s Alex’s strong hand that helps her up, that wraps her up in a firm hug, holding her close.

It’s Alex who shields her from the sight before she forces herself around to see it. Her brother, her loving brother, slumped against the wall, three bullet holes in his chest. His head is slumped back, breathing shallow, not dead but certainly not going to survive. Lena knows without asking who took those shots, knows without question who would be the one brave enough to fire the gun.

“I’ve got you,” Alex whispers, pulling Lena from the room, letting the DEO agents take care of the rest.

__

Lena wakes up the next morning, feeling more exhausted than she had been when she went to sleep, eyes feeling sore, body tense as she stretches out. Alex pulls her closer, holding her tighter until green eyes lock on brown.

“I want to take you somewhere,” Alex says, speaking softly in the soft light of the morning.

Lena doesn’t ask questions, just gets dressed, opting for jeans and a sweater to combat the slight chill in the air.

“Meet me downstairs in twenty minutes,” Alex says, kissing Lena’s cheek.

Lena waits, trying not to let the memory of the day before wash over her, knowing she’ll break when it does. She heads downstairs, set on enjoying the day with Alex.

Alex sits on her motorcycle, helmet already on, holding one out to Lena. Lena climbs on, holding tight to Alex, content to feel the leather of her jacket against her, choosing to lose herself in Alex instead of her memories.

They drive for over an hour, Alex telling her how beautiful she is, how wonderful she is, all through the microphone in her helmet.

When Alex pulls the bike to the side, Lena knows they’re near the water. Alex pulls a backpack out of the saddle bag, shouldering it. She secures their helmets before wordlessly taking Lena’s hand. They walk in silence through a trail that Lena would have never noticed on her own, jagged rocks on each side. Alex helps her step down steep inclines, holds her hand as the path gets more narrow until it opens to a secluded corner, a deep alcove of the ocean, shrouded in privacy on the left and right by tall rocks.

The settle on a flattened rock closer to the water, Alex laying her jacket across the rock for Lena to sit on.

Lena watches Alex curiously as she pulls something from her backpack, a completely unmarked silver box. It’s large, big enough to hold ammo in it.

Alex hands Lena the box, watching her carefully as Lena opens it. Inside is a large velvet bag, the words on it knitted in a soft cursive. “Alexander Joseph Luthor,” Lena reads, tears in her eyes.

“Before he died,” Alex begins softly, “he told Agent Jones to tell you he was sorry.”

Lena lets the words sink in, Alex watching her closely as she stares down at his name. There is a long pause, a long silence before a strangled sob interrupts it, Lena setting the box aside as the tears fall fast. She cries, cries harder than she ever has in her entire life, sobs wracking her body to the point that she can’t stop. Alex’s arm is around her, pulling Lena into her side, giving Lena a quiet haven to cry. She soaks Alex’s shirt and keeps crying until nothing comes out but hiccups, the tears dried up from her eyes now falling down her face.

“Am I insane?” Lena asks, voice raw from crying.

“Absolutely not,” Alex says, running her thumb to Lena’s chin, lifting until Lena looks at her. “He’s your brother.”

“How did you do this?” Lena asks, gesturing to the box, voice unsteady.

“We arrested Lillian. She requested he be cremated. I asked her if I could bring him to you. She’s going to be locked up for a very long time Lena,” Alex answers.

“Was she upset?”

“More upset that he didn’t get you, that her plan didn’t work.”

Lena sighs, picking up the bag inside the box to hold it up.

“It’s just so sad,” Lena says, “the brother I knew, the man I loved, reduced to ashes in this. He deserved better Alex.”

Alex doesn’t respond, just holds Lena as she talks. “He was so brilliant, so caring, and he loved me. I’ll never forget my first few weeks with the Luthors. He taught me chess. He held my hand. He checked the closet for monsters at night.”

“Who he became takes nothing away from the brother you love,” Alex tells her.

“The brother I knew, he died a long time ago. I always wished I could have done more when he went mad. I wished I had seen some signs or paid attention more,” Lena says, voice strained as the tears spring to her eyes. “I can’t just sit this on a shelf.”

“I thought we could spread it here,” Alex nods towards the water. “Somewhere that nobody knows him, somewhere that won’t judge him, somewhere he’ll be in peace.”

Lena looks up at Alex, eyes soft as she stares at the woman who cares so much, in the softest ways.

Alex starts taking her shoes off, Lena looking at her curiously as Alex removes her socks. Alex rolls up her pants leg to just below her knee. She takes the bag from Lena, holding it carefully while Lena does the same.

They take the few steps towards the water, it’s cold against their feet as they wade into it until it hits their ankles. It smells like saltwater, feels cold, and Lena has never felt lighter than she does in that moment.

She takes the bag from Alex as soft waves lap at their lower legs. She opens it slowly to reveal the ashes inside.

“I feel like I should say something,” Lena admits.

“What was your favorite memory of him?” Alex asks.

“Once when I was seven, our family had a party for the company. You should have seen how grand it was. I was so excited to put on a pretty dress and get my hair done with Lillian. When we were all dressed, Lex told me how pretty I looked. I’ll never forget holding his hand in that crowded room. I was so nervous. Lex just kept a hold of my hand and let me stand on his shoes so we could dance,” Lena is silent for a long period of time until she lets some of the ashes fall out of the bag, spreading out on the surface of the water.

“I wish people knew the real him, the one who Lillian didn’t try to use for her own awful agenda, the one who wasn’t brainwashed,” Lena says, letting more ashes fall. Alex wraps her arm around her tighter.

“I want to remember him. I want people to know him for the brother that I knew. If I ever have children I want them to know that I had a brother,” Lena says softly, letting the last of the ashes fall. The soft waves churn them, scattering them further into the water. Lena watches them go, a sudden longing for her brother that she wasn’t sure she’d ever feel again.

Alex holds her close, pulling Lena into her chest. There is something so freeing, a weight lifting, as Alex holds her. Lena can feel the saltwater, cold against her legs. She can taste the salt of her tears on her skin, but she can feel Alex’s support shining stronger than anything attempting to weigh her down.

Alex takes her hand to lead her back to where their shoes sit on the sand, and Lena leaves her brother at the edge of the water. She leaves the hopes that she could change him, leaves the fear that he’ll come back to harm her, and leaves the young boy who had loved her fiercely.

She lets one final tear fall down her cheek. It rolls under her chin, dripping off to the sand below. Lena looks up at Alex, her strong and steady presence, her cure for almost anything.


End file.
